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First world problem: If I dress up as Hipster Ariel for Halloween, will people get me?

I think Hipster Ariel was one the first few memes that got me to understand what a meme even is. ( I sense a hipster-inception type thing coming out of that…)

Hipster Snow White works so well for me (Apple? Do I even need to go there?), and Hipster Belle makes so much sense! I mean… she was a book nerd, and she ditches douchey mainstream Gaston types for hairy men with fangs, and she uses tea cups.

Hipster Cinderella is redundant because bitch is just cray cray, talking to animals and imaginary old ladies with glitter dust.

Where’s the exotic hipster princess yo? Jasmine – pet tiger, seafoam turquoise? Mulan – Asian Andro boygirl? Pocahontas?!? Omgosh organic everything, tribal wear before music festivals even existed, hellooo?!

If you haven’t already guessed, my rambling is because I AM SEXCITED FOR HALLOWEENzZXZX.

Seriously. I have a million things I want to dress up as, and none of them are remotely doable. Fml.

 

Here’s another first world problem: I can’t decide if I should schedule in a massage tomorrow after work, or go for yoga.

I’ve been rolling on the bed all day, to sleep off this sick I’m getting, and my back is really sore. Also I’ve found the perfect doctor; he’s nice, he doesn’t shoot me judgmental looks, and the medicine he gives are my favourite kind… The kind that knocks you out.

I also really need to get started on my writing assignments. I think when I get down to it, I will find this incredibly useful: 4 Ways to Write Faster

Drowsy drugs kicking in, NIGHT woo!

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Hi, I’m a 23-year-old adult lady with a steady job, and I have a dirty little secret.

My friends think my obsession is tipping into danger territory and that I am in great denial.

My folks… well, they have no idea how far I’ve gone.

I love…

One Direction.

That’s right. Those baby-faced teen boys that my prepubescent nieces are psychotic for. You can’t imagine the self-control I had to exert on myself as they sing out loud, WMYB (What Makes You Beautful. That’s right. 1Directioners OWN abbreviations, bitch.). Boot camp level of determination, I’ll tell you that much.

It’s gone to the point where I know each defining characteristics of the boys, and you can’t ever ask me to pick a favourite.

Cougar-for-sexy-curly-hair Harry, Omg-we’re-soulmates-for-stripes Louis, Imma-take-you-home-to-my-parents Liam, Irish-blonde-bitch Niall and Bad-boy-sial lah-muslim-boy-se Zayn.

Anyway, the boys just released the music video for ‘Live While You’re Young’ (LWYY *fist pumps 12-year-old girls*) and I have been spending the better part of my happening Sunday with it on replay.

I think LWYY is just gratuitous music, but 1D’s hook tactic has always been visual. And the music video is a mega win for me.  Here’s why:

1. Bromance Galore

They grope and sandwich each other any chance they get.

Also the above printscreen is an insinuation that if the boys really do go camping, they shall sleep in the same tent. They’re at a hip camping party (I mean, Zorb balls, come on. ) with a whole bunch of girls who’d get their panties in a twist over them, and they choose a “bros-before-hoes” stance. Right. Sure. Let me crash that pillow fight and I’ll believe it. Serious proposal.

Speaking of twisted, why hello, Zayn’s face. Credit: My adept video pausing skills.

2. TOPLESS NIALL!

Because wet tshirts are for pussies.

3. TOPLESS HARRY!

You thought no one would notice the split-second shirtless moment did you? Tut tut. You underestimate my sharp cougar eyes and stellar video pausing skills.

4. Zayn My Mayn Man

Zayn takes centerstage for LWYY and he does so looking so fiiinnnnee. I love that blonde quiff, such a good look for you babe.

5. Dope-Faced Extra in Blue

See that guy on the right, with the wtf-am-I-doing-here face? I love him. Check it:

THAT is a legit face of fear.

“If you’re watching this sh-t video, you and your sh-t taste in music can suck my d–k!”

The unenthusiastic forced mosh jump? Classic. He is so uninterested, he’s not even facing the right direction! (see what I did there)

Perhaps his foul mood can be explained here:

“Dude. Wut r u doin. DUDE. STAHP.”